My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
