is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
