After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
