do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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