No, drunk sperm still make babies.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So apparently I’m into choking now
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