You're so nebulous sometimes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
