why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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