this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
