Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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