and i looked up. we had an audience...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
