I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
