As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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