I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
