Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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