Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
