Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
