Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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