Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
