it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
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