He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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