Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
