just come out here and I will go home with you...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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