Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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