I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
