i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
