I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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