So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize