Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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