is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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