sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
