Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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