Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
