no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
