If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
