I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
