I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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