I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
