Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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