ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize