On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She bit a glass in half.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
