how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
