drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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