i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
