at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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