i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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