u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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