Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
