brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
