How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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