my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
