Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
