I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
