Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
