the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
