My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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