the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
