ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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