Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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