; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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