Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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