Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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