We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
