Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
