too bad you live with your parents still
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
